The Co-Pastors are having that conversation again — what days off should we take? It should be said that we are each working 3/4-time each. Well, we’re getting paid for 3/4-time! What that means pragmatically is that we get an extra day off during the week. The system we’ve had until next week (when we return to work from our vacation week at home) is that we both take Fridays off together — that way we have a day with each other. The “other day off” has been more fluid — one of us takes either Tuesday or Wednesday, the other takes the alternate day. Whoever is preaching (if we’re not preaching together) gets to decide which day they want off.
It looks like the pattern is changing, though. The introverted pastor is simply whooped on Monday. Peopled-out. So she is going to start taking Mondays as her “recovery day.” That leaves Tue-Wed-Thu for me to decide, and it will mostly have to do with the week’s schedule, parenting needs, etc. Typically I will be off Tuesday, I think.
So here is a difference in our personalities, our styles, our Myers-Briggs types… I’d rather not be “off” on a “recovery day.” Monday is a good day for me to do staff conversations, catch up on email and phone calls, etc. It’s more administrative than programmatic, to be sure. But I’d rather recover doing those less people-intensive things. Not Kerri — she simply needs space for her “I-time” (Introvert time).
Of course my struggle here in the first year of this call is to be able to take even one day fully off each week. I know, I know… and I am working on setting good patterns now. But it’s difficult. There are so many things that I want to get done…
So I’m interested how others configure their sabbath time, managing church obligations, marriage, family, etc. How are people getting time together? Time apart?
My wife and are I also a clergy couple serving 3/4 time each. We are like you and we take Friday as our day off, but we do not get an extra day off during the week. One solution that I have heard of from someone in the same situation is that a 3/4 call pastor only serves 3 Sundays a month. This provides a chance for personal worship. As for which day you should take off, I personally would take the one that gives you the most continuous time away from the church. Another suggestion would be to take off by noon two days a week so that you could have two lighter days.
On a slightly side note. I would like to extend an invitation for you to join a discussion group for clergy couples. The link is
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/couplesinministry/
This is a group that exists to answer questions like “how do you make 3/4 of a call work” or how to raise children in the church, etc. The group is just starting out, so feel free to join and let other clergy couples you know join as well.
Hi Jeff and Kerri,
My husband and I are a clergy couple as well. We serve a two-point parish in rural North Dakota. We have been married about a little over 2 years, and are fresh out of seminary. We are quickly finding that there are little resources to help clergy couples negotiate their unique challenges. It is nice to find a blog about clergy couples…please keep writing…
As far as days off, I am the 3/4 timer, and he is full time. We take Monday off together, and then I take Friday off. It seems to be working pretty well so far.
Rebecca
I know I’m a couple months late to the conversation but I just found the blog. I’ve added it to my Google Reader in hopes that there may still be some life here.
My wife and I are 1/2 and 3/4 time respectively as Associates. Currently I work Sunday through Thursday, but my office times vary on those days so I wouldn’t quite count it as four full-time days. My wife works Sundays-Wednesdays but on weekdays leaves around 2:30 to pick up our son from daycare. (he’s in for half days on M-W).
We used to take Mondays off and we miss it, especially since worship and education on Sunday morning and youth group on Sunday evening really wipes us out.